"Because I said so."

If you're a parent, you've probably said those words.

If you have a parent, you've probably had those words said to you.

I know I've said it (though I'm not a parent, just an overzealous oldest sibling) and have had it said to me, and I'm better because of it.

However, in some of my college classes on child development, I learned about a parenting approach that doesn't allow room for that phrase.  This approach places an enormous emphasis on reasoning.  Parents don't tell their children to do things.  Instead, they ask them and then proceed to explain all of the reasons that the child ought to do what they've been asked.  So, for example, the child isn't told, "Go clean your room."  The child is asked, "Would you please go clean your room?  You'll be able to find things so much better, and it will smell nicer, and your clothes won't be wrinkled if they're not on the floor, and you'll be happier in a clean room."  It is then the child's choice whether or not to clean their room.

In this "reasoning" theory about parenting, children are always provided with the answers to the question, "Why?".  The answer is never, "Because I said so."  Instead, it is spelled out clearly in a way they can understand.

On the surface, this sounds good.  However, I must respectfully disagree with this approach.

It is my belief that children first begin to understand their relationship with God through their relationships with their parents.  In the parent-child relationship, children learn trust, dependence, love, obedience, consequences, communication, and a host of other qualities that they then learn to translate into their relationship with God.  Children who grow up trusting their parents and finding them worthy of that trust will most likely be willing to trust God and believe that He his trustworthy.  Children who grow up in a loving relationship with their parents will probably accept the loving nature of God, while children who grow up with distant parents who rarely show love to them are more likely to view God as harsh and distant.  (Obviously, there are many exceptions to this.  This is just a general theme I've seen play out in people's lives.)

Thus, if children grow up with parents who obligingly answer the question "why?" after every set of instructions and spell it out with commonsense reasoning, will they not expect the same from God?  When God tells them to do something, they will probably want to know, "Why?"  But let me ask you this...

How many times in the Bible do you remember God answering the question, "Why?"

I may very well be wrong, but there aren't many instances coming to my mind.  Instead, I keep thinking about all of the people who were called by God to something very difficult and were given no answer to that question.

Abraham -- First he was called to leave behind everything that was dear to him and go to a strange place he'd never seen.  Then he was called to sacrifice his son on the altar.  Neither time did God offer an explanation for why He was asking those things of Abraham.

Job -- God allowed everything he held dear to be taken from him by Satan.  When Job mourned the day of his birth and wondered why such calamity came upon him, God offered no explanation.  He responded by basically saying, "I'm God.  You're not."  That's the only "why?" Job got.

David -- His Psalms are filled with questions of "Why, God?"  He never receives an answer.  But he always comes back around and says, "Oh yeah!  I remember who You are."

Peter -- Oh, dear Peter!  I think he always wanted to know why.  Why throw my net on the other side?  Why did I sink?  Why can't I follow you now?  But the answers are markedly absent.

All of them were required to follow the instructions the Lord gave them, and they received only one answer to their "why"s:

"Because I said so."

I think the same is true for us.  God often calls us to places that are uncomfortable and uncertain, and perhaps we don't see the reasoning behind His instructions.  We want to know why.  But we're probably out of luck.  You see, we must learn what Job learned.  He's God.  We're not.  And He doesn't have to tell us any more "why" than,

"Because I said so."

Now don't get me wrong about this whole parenting thing: I think there are times when kids need to know the reasons behind the things they're told.  Why you don't play in the street, why you don't talk to strangers, why you don't share your toothbrush with the dog, etc.  Some things you just need to know.  But they also have to learn that obedience isn't dependent upon the "why".  When Mom or Dad says something, you obey, even if it's only "because I said so."

The same goes for us as children of God.  He might tell us the why sometimes.  Why to steer clear of immorality, why to be careful who you surround yourself with, why to keep our focus on Christ, etc.  Some things He wants us to know.  But we also have to learn that our obedience isn't dependent upon whether or not we know the "why".  When He tells us what to do, we obey.  Because He said so.