When Did You Fall in Love with Me?

I am a Chris Rice fan. He's got some hilarious lyrics (for example, "smell the color nine"), and his music just has a certain groove that I kinda like. But that's beside the point.

One of his songs is a love song called "When Did You Fall". (If you're wondering about the direction of this post, don't worry. It's still about Jesus. ;-) Seeing as how I have no "significant other" in my life at this point, whenever I hear a love song, I just sort of naturally think of it in terms of Christ, the only Love of my life at present. This particular song is about a guy who is rather slow and has just realized for the first time that his girl is in love with him, and he's asking her when it was that she fell for him.

"When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue?
'Cause I swear I never knew it.
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?"

So I started thinking, "Lord, when did You fall in love with me?"

Later in the song, he starts trying to guess when it happened.

"Was it at the coffee shop?
Or was it that morning at the bus stop,
When you almost slipped and I caught your hand?
Or the time we built the snowman?
The day at the beach, sandy and warm?
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm?"

See, this guy assumes that, whenever it was that she fell in love with him, it was at one of their favorite moments, one of their best memories, one of the good times. And he's probably right.

But when I asked my Jesus when He fell in love with me, His answer was very different.

Romans 5:8,
"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

It wasn't one of our favorite moments. It wasn't during one of those mountain-top experiences. It wasn't at an intimate time of worship. It wasn't one of the good times. It was when I was wretched and vile and covered in sin. Of all times, He fell in love with me THEN. In my worst moment. In my dirtiest condition. In my hopeless, miserable, unlovable state. THAT'S when He fell in love with me.

Why? So that I would know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that He didn't love me because of anything that I had done. My deeds did not earn His love by their goodness, nor can they hinder it by their depravity. He loves me because He chooses to love me. Period.

How do I know? Because when I look back, I realize He's been showing me all along.

In the song, after the guy has realized she loves him, he says,

"Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let's rewind.
Come on, let's go back and replay all our scenes.
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists, and the smiles this time,
All the ones that slipped by me.
...'Cause, baby, I missed it then, but I can surely see you now,
Right here before my eyes, you're my beautiful surprise."

He hadn't realized that she'd been hinting and cluing and smiling, trying to tell him how she felt. And I do the same thing with God.

Romans 1:19-20,
"...since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."

From the creation of the world He's been showing me He loves me!! But it's only after I've realized His love that I can sit down with Him and smile at the "beautiful surprise" as He points back to all the ways that He's been demonstrating His love for me before I even knew it.

Which brings me to my response to this magnificent love, for which I have another Bible verse and another Chris Rice song:

1 John 4:19,
"We love because He first loved us."

"I just want to be with You!
I just want this waiting to be over.
I just want to be with You,
And it helps to know the day is getting closer.
Every minute takes an hour,
Every inch feels like a mile,
'Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You smile."

When did He fall in love with me? Just like any perfect Prince Charming: at exactly the right moment, way before I deserved it. When did I fall in love with Him? Just like any lovestruck damsel in distress: over and over and over...