God is good...all the time!

This week has been so crazy! But then, it's Workshop week, so it's supposed to be. :-) Workshop was incredible, to say the least; God was working in mighty ways. So many people worked so hard to make this happen; they did an awesome job. The speakers were all amazing and filled with the Spirit. As many wonderful things as God has done this week, one of them was particularly incredible and I am so grateful to God for what He did.

Shane, our worship leader at Memorial, and his wife Alice had a pretty rough week. Shane had a strange pain in his hand and arm that spread to his other arm, his legs, his neck and basically throughout his entire body. Alice took off work for three days to take care of him. There had been emails sent out to our prayer chain at church, so everyone was praying for them, but I don't think many of us had a grasp of how truly awful Shane was feeling until we saw him Wednesday night. Now, Shane isn't the kind of guy that will complain, no matter how bad he feels; but he was moving pretty gingerly, so we could all tell that he wasn't doing well. He kind of hobbled through the church building, doing everything he had to do to make the Workshop kick-off go well. Prayers continued to go up, because we all knew that in a little while, Shane was going to have to get on stage and lead our worship. I was beginning to wonder if he would even be able to stand, but he went on stage (using a mic stand part of the time because it hurt to hold the microphone) and worshipped our God from his heart, as we have seen him do on so many Sunday mornings. He was so focused on God that you could hardly tell he was in pain at all. As we came to the chorus of the final song of the night, Shane said, "Let's raise the roof!" And did we ever! I'm pretty sure that if you had been standing on the sidewalk outside the building you would have been able to hear the praises lifted up, "Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your Name!" Tears sprung into my eyes as Shane, in spite of all of his pain, stood tall on the stage and lifted both of his hands heavenward in humble praise and adoration of his awesome God. After that, Shane pretty much collapsed into his front pew. The elders, the majority of the praise team and some others surrounded him, laid their hands on him and lifted him up in prayers to God. There wasn't a dry eye in the bunch when they finished. Everyone was feeling his pain, as much as we could, anyway. Then we just stood around and kind of stared at him and Alice. After a while, Shane said it was too weird with us all looking at him and he wanted to go home. I felt kind of bad, but then I realized why we were staring at him: we didn't know what else to do. We had no words to make it better, and we couldn't hug him, because it would hurt; so we just stared.
We all continued to pray, and Thursday night Shane felt much better than the night before. Even so, we were still a bit apprehensive about Friday night, when our praise team was going to lead worship.
Friday night, Shane got up on stage and, before we sang, he talked about God's goodness. He told us how much better he was feeling since Wednesday night, and he gave all the glory to God. What amazed me the most, though, was what he said next. After he said how good God was for making him strong enough to get up there that night, he said, "But I would still say 'God is good' even if I was laying in a hospital bed for the second time this week." What faith! And I know Shane well enough to know that he wasn't just saying that; he really would have said "God is good."
On Saturday night, Shane was on stage again, joking with Terry as they made announcements. This morning, he (Shane, not Terry =D) sang bass with the Zoe group at church. Afterwards, he smiled as he told me that he was completely pain-free today. God is so good! His grace was sufficient for Shane and His power was perfected in Shane's weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).
God has truly blessed our church family and me, personally, with Shane and Alice both. Their faith and trust in God, even when things aren't going the way they might like, is a wonderful example and testimony to all of us. Thanks, Shane and Alice! Shane, it is my prayer that Jesus has said to you what He said to the woman in Matthew 9, "Your faith has healed you." Thanks for your faith, brother! God is good...all the time!

"I have this under control."

The other day, I took Jonathan, Stephen and Andrea to the park. Andrea wanted to swing and asked me to push her. After a few minutes, she said, "Okay, you don't have to push me anymore," then in a very big-girl tone for a 5-year-old, "I have this under control." I nearly fell over laughing as she continued in her sing-song voice, "I have it under control. I don't need help. I can do it." (Okay, maybe you had to be there, but it was really funny at the moment.) A few minutes later, I looked over and she was swinging all over the place on her belly. Grinning, she said, "It's more fun this way."

Later that night, I started thinking about how often I do that with God. So many times I ask Him to lead me (or push me, in some cases) in the direction He wants me to go. But when I think it's going well enough that I can handle it, I say (whether consciously or subconsciously), "Okay, You don't have to push me anymore. I have this under control." Then, even though He knows I can't really handle it, just as I knew Andrea couldn't really keep herself swinging, He lets me do it on my own. For a while I may relish my new-found "control" over my own life. Soon, however, I find my self swinging on my stomach completely out of control and nearly falling out on my head. Still, I'm too proud to admit that I can't do it alone, so I desperately try to convince myself that "It's more fun this way." Though I have no doubt that it really was more fun for Andrea swinging that way, when I get to that place, it isn't fun at all, but rather it is my last ditch effort to try to stay in the driver's seat of my own life.

Why? Why do I, clueless and incapable as I am, try so desperately over and over to control my own life when I know good and well that I can't? I don't really know; I guess it's just human nature to want to be in control. I think one of the most difficult parts of following Christ is to obey the command of James 4:7, "Submit yourselves, then, to God." As hard as it is to do that, though, I think that if/when we finally do get there we will find that swinging when He's pushing us is much, much more pleasant than swinging every which-a-way on our bellies trying to keep ourselves going. Though we will still be swinging back and forth between trials and easy times, joy and pain, spiritual mountaintops and spiritual valleys, there will still be that strong, steady Hand at our back, pushing us gently on through it all. How much better is that than going through all those same things, only swinging out of control with no comforting Hand at all?

I pray that this week we may all give the control of our lives back to our Father; then, though our circumstances may not change, may we rest in the fact that He is there, He is in control, He loves us and He has a plan for us. I love having a God that won't push us so hard that we can't hang on, or at least if He does, He'll be there on the other side to catch us.

Now, if I can just remember all of this when I wake up in the morning. :-)

Our God is an Awesome God!

Last weekend, some of our youth group went to a leadership conference/retreat. It was truly amazing! God was working so powerfully in everyone, making incredible changes in our hearts, drawing us closer together and rekindling our fires for Him. It's amazing how God uses other Christians to encourage us in our walk with Him.

Friday night, not long after we got there, God decided to reveal to me what He wanted to work on in me over the weekend. Jason (our stand-in youth minister for the weekend) spoke powerful, Spirit-filled words about walking by faith and not by sight. That phrase is so commonplace in the church today that, though I "knew" what it meant, I didn't really have an appreciation for how to do it. Walking by sight, as Jason described it, is going into a situation, assessing your resources (i.e., knowledge of the Scriptures, ability to communicate, general likeableness (that's my Terry Rush word), etc.) and through that lens determining what impact you can make in that situation. Walking by faith is going into a situation, knowing that you're God's child, believing that He will work through you in that situation and acting accordingly. In that light, I realized why walking by faith is so hard for me: I have a huge struggle with fear. I'm constantly worrying about what people will think about me and what I do/say/think. It is a daily battle to focus, not on what others think, but on what God thinks. This is what God wanted to address with me last weekend. As I let God work on my heart in this way, I was amazed at the feeling of freedom that came with it. I was able to be myself around complete strangers without worrying at all what they thought of me. Saturday night, I was sitting eating dinner, talking and laughing with five or six people, only one of whom I had known before that weekend. I was having an awesome time, and it was all because I let God, not fear, control my actions. Just in this past week I have seen an amazing difference in myself and the way I interact with other people. Not that it isn't still a struggle, but God is doing awesome things and I am learning to let Him.

Saturday afternoon, we had a prayer walk. That was incredible, because it was only supposed to last an hour, but most of us took an hour and a half before they finally called us in for the next event. I think everyone was simply enjoying being in the presence of our God. My guess is that none of us ever spend that much time just us and God, and we were all realizing how awesome it can be to just be in His presence. I know that's the feeling He wants us all to have all the time. That's why He's always there waiting for us to just come talk to Him and be with Him. He longs for a deep relationship with us, and we can only imagine how wonderful and beautiful a relationship like that can be.

In short, God did amazing things last weekend, and I know that is due, in large part, to all of the people who were praying for all of us. I know some of you reading this are some of those people, so thank you. God answered your prayers in more ways than you could ask or imagine.

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:13

I'm back!!

Well, since I have now been tagged by both Shane and Heather, I figured it was probably time for me to update this thing. That and the fact that I haven't updated it since November 2 of last year. I'm not very good at this, am I?

The Rules: Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
Share 5 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog, OR
Share the 5 top places on your “want to see or want to see again” list, OR
Share 5 things you never pictured being in your future when you were 25 years old.

Tag a minimum of 5, maximum of 10 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. The tagees have a choice of which they want to do.

Since I have already shared random facts about myself on here and am not yet 25 years old, here are the top 5 places on my "want to see or want to see again" list:

1. Heaven!!! I can't wait to see it. I have tried for as long as I can remember to picture what it will be like, but I know that it will be so much better than anything I can imagine.

2. Niagra Falls. The power that all of that water must carry with it would be a truly incredible sight to behold. A waterfall of that magnitude is unlike anything I have ever seen.

3. The Grand Canyon. I saw it with my family when we went on our vacation a couple of weeks ago, but it was so overwhelming that it was impossible to take it all in. I would love to have a chance to see it again.

4. Sequoia National Park. We made two trips to this park on the above mentioned vacation, but neither time were we able to see the massive trees as well as we would have liked. The first time, we didn't make it to the biggest trees because the road had too much snow and ice on it and our snow chains didn't fit. The second time, it was dark before we got there, so we were only able to see the trees by moonlight. As incredible as it was at night, I can only imagine what it would be like in daylight.

5. Death Valley National Park. Though a nightmare to the settlers of years past (hence its name Death Valley), in the present day it is lots of fun and quite amazing. We traveled through Death Valley on the same vacation as the Grand Canyon and Sequoia National Park, and we had an awesome time. The salt flats, the sand dunes, the lowest point of elevation in the Northern Hemisphere, the mountains, it was all incredible.

Since I have taken so long to do this, I don't have anywhere near 5 people to tag. I will, however, tag Jeanne and Danna, who have both been longer in updating their blogs than I have.

Thanks, Shane and Heather, for getting me back to blogging! Maybe I'll be more faithful to continue this time.

Painfully devastating--Wonderfully precious

Do you ever look at a moment (or day or week or month or year) of your life and wonder how it can be so painfully devastating and yet so wonderfully precious all at once? God recently blessed me and my family with one of those moments.

Almost two months ago now, God sent Vivian to us through kinship foster care. Vivian was only a few weeks old when she came to live with us, but the impact she made on our family was enormous. We all fell in love with her immediately, and when the time came for her to leave, we did not want to let her go. We were taking her to her new foster family on Sunday afternoon, so Sunday morning, we went down front at the invitation song to ask for prayers for us and for Vivian. I had seen many times the incredible support that our church family so willingly gives, but I had never been on the receiving end of its full force before. I was truly overwhelmed by the love, support and encouragement that was showered on our family that morning. As we sat and cried, we were surrounded by members of our church family that were ready to sit with us, to cry with us, to pray with us and to hurt with us. They did such an amazing job of living 1 Corinthians 12:26 where Paul says of the body of Christ, "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." Our church family did both that day: they suffered with us and they rejoiced with us in our suffering. The outpouring of hugs, tears, prayers and words of encouragement that I received that morning was what got me through that afternoon. God was using His church to offer me exactly what I needed that day. Later in the afternoon, we took Vivian to her new foster family. They are a wonderful Christian family and offered to let us come visit her any time, and for that I am so grateful to God.

When I first found out that Vivian had to move, I wondered why God would give her to us just to take her away so quickly. I wanted to be angry at Him, but I couldn't, because I knew that He knew something I didn't know. I knew He had a plan that I didn't understand at that moment. Even now, just a short time later, I can see at least part of what He was doing. First, He allowed us to have an impact in Vivian's life, even if it was for a short time. Second, He opened a door for our family to see the desperate need for foster families and for us to become part of the foster care system. Third, He taught me how to rely on Him even when I'm hurting and I don't understand what He's doing. Fourth, He gave me a new appreciation for the absolutely, indescribably wonderful church family that He has blessed me with. Through this experience God has taught me so much more that I could ever write down here, and most of it is things I thought I already knew:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21b

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

I thank God with all my heart for teaching me all these things through this trial and for loving me enough to let me hurt for a little while because He knew that it would be best for me in the long run. And I thank Him for working so powerfully through His body to encourage and uplift me. God knew what He was doing when He gave us the church. He knew that His grace is sufficiant for us, but He chose to administer that grace through His body at times. He knew that sometimes our faith in the invisible and intangible would waver. He knew that sometimes we would need tangible shoulders to cry on, audible voices to encourage us, visible tears to cry with us and physical arms to embrace us, so He gave us the body of Christ. I thank Him for that, and I thank all of you reading this who have been a part of it. Whether you spoke words of encouragement to me, prayed for me or simply sat and cried with me, thank you. Thank you for being you and thank you for letting Him be Him in you.

So what do we do with those painfully devastating moments in our lives? We trust in God and wait for Him to reveal the wonderfully precious part of it.

What time is it? Summertime!

(Okay, so probably very few of you understand the joke behind the title, that's okay. It just means your Disney Channel days are over.)

WOW!!! What an awesome summer! It's been a lot of fun, yet extremely exhausting.

JUNE 25-30---MISSION TRIP TO AVA, MO

Our youth group was originally planning to go to Las Vegas, New Mexico for our mission trip (Las Vegas, New Mexico, not Las Vegas, Nevada). Unfortunately (Well, not really, but I'll get to that in a minute.), about three weeks before time to leave we were informed that we would no longer be able to go to New Mexico. After an emergency parent meeting, tons of prayer, a few phone calls and lots of help from our youth minister's mommy and daddy, we ended up in a little town in Missouri called Ava. They were getting ready for their 150th town anniversary, so we helped fix things up around town. We had a great time, met some great people and hopefully shined the light of Christ while we were there. God knew what He was doing, and He did a lot of awesome work during our week in Ava.

JULY 1 (or maybe 2nd, I don't remember)-7---TRIP TO TEXAS

We spent the week at my dad's. During the day while he was working, I went shopping with one of my grandmothers and one of her good friends. Then we spent July 4th at my other grandparents' swimming and eating and swimming and eating...yeah, that's about all we did. :-) The rest of the week we hung out at Dad's and relaxed.

JULY 8-13---VBS AND COUSINS IN TOWN

When we came home from Texas, we brought my cousins back with us. They stayed for the week and helped out at VBS. We had a great time with them, as always; we stayed up really late and then slept really late. Lots of fun. VBS was wonderful; I helped with first graders all week. Let's just say it's a good thing I like first graders. We had 30-something kids every night and, needless to say, won the award for the most kids every single time. I think all the kids really enjoyed themselves; this kid did anyway. :-)

JULY 22-27---CHURCH CAMP

Church camp was awesome. Our theme was "IMPACT", and there were definitely lots of people impacted during the week. God was really moving and working in a lot of us. We had a couple of our teens that made the decision to completely turn their lives around and become who God wants them to be. We all saw a huge change in them overnight, literally. It was amazing. It was also emotional, as it was the last camp for all of our seniors; but we love them, we support them and we can't wait to see what God does in their lives. And, as always, we had the camp talent show. Guess who was in it this year? Believe it or not...yours truly. Taylor and I made up Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings versions of "The Lord's Army" with our cousins when they were here. I really, really didn't want to do it, but I guess I'll do a lot more for Taylor than I thought I would. Though, as I have already informed many people, I'M NEVER DOING IT AGAIN!!! :-) Just because I smiled (well, did that smiley face thing, you know what I mean), doesn't mean I'm joking.

AUGUST 6---FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

There's not a whole lot to tell about this. It was a great first day of school. I think this year is going to be really good. I LOVE CHEMISTRY!!!

AUGUST 19-24---ANOTHER TRIP TO TEXAS

Same song, second verse. We spent the week at my dad's. While he was working one day we went to lunch with my grandmother and great-grandfather. Thursday we went to my other grandparents and swam before we went to the Rangers' game. (For the few of you that might be sports-illiterate, the Texas Rangers are a baseball team. My favorite baseball team, to be exact.) Wednesday night (the night before we went to the game) the Rangers scored 30 runs!!! That hasn't been done since 1897! And the Rangers, one of the worst teams in baseball, did it! Unfortunately, they used up all their runs in that game and lost 9-4 the night we were there. The rest of the week we hung out at Dad's and relaxed.


Well, that about sums it up. Are you bored yet? Somehow it's just not as exciting to read, but it is a pretty good excuse for why it is now August 26th I haven't blogged since July 2nd. Hopefully I'll get back to blogging regularly now...right after we get back from our family vacation next week. :-)

I love summer, but I'm glad school has started so I will eventually (hopefully) get a vacation from my vacation.

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If you have the patience to still be reading this blog and to still be reading this post, then here's a funny younger siblings story:

The other night we taught Jonathan, Stephen and Andrea how to play Pictionary Jr. On Andrea's first attempt she was drawing something from the category "In the Bedroom." She drew a rectangle-ish shape and I started guessing.

Me: A window!
Andrea: No, it's a pillow!

Later in the game, Stephen read the card to Andrea so that the two of them could draw. Recalling her previous slip of the tongue, he said, "Now Andrea, don't tell them what it is." Having cautioned her thus, he prepared to create his masterpiece, saying, "Because I know exactly how to draw an ax."

It's okay kiddos, we all say things we wish we could take back a second after we say them. We refer to that as OMIFS or "open-mouth-insert-foot syndrome." :-)

I never was good at tag.

So apparently Shane thinks it's been too long since I updated my blog (and I would have to agree). I have been tagged!


Here are the rules:


1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.

2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

And my random facts are...

1. I am not very good at being random on command.

2. I took gymnastics when I was four.

3. I love to write, as long as I'm not trying to persuade someone of something.

4. I am NOT an animal person.

5. I am terrified at the very thought of standing on a stage with a large number of people staring at me.

6. I absolutely cannot stand wearing dresses. Therefore, I do not.

7. I still believe that boys have COOTIES!

8. It has taken me almost half an hour to think of and type these eight random facts about me.


Okay, I now tag any of you that are patient enough to still be checking my blog and who have not yet been tagged. If you do not have a blog, leave your random facts in a comment on mine. I will be very impressed with you guys if there are eight of you.

Hopefully I will be back to frequent blogging soon. When I got this blog, I said to myself, "Self, you will not be one of those people who goes months without posting on your blog." Ha!